The Helicopter Parent

Note: This is the second post in a 3-part series on Love and Logic parenting styles.

Following on from the Drill Sergeant parent, let's look at The Helicopter parenting style. A Helicopter parent's hands could look like this:

You see, Helicopter parents love to fix things. They hover over their kids and take care of whatever troubles arise. Oh, they might rant and rave a bit, but they still rescue. These parents take over the brunt of their kids' school projects, chores, etc. When problems arise, they are ready to swoop in, shield and repair. When their kids hurt, they hurt too. Don't we all? But Helicopter parents fix it by bailing out their kids to remove that hurt.

My mom was a Helicopter parent in some respects. I remember my first car accident: I was 16 and changed lanes as I was turning left - got a bit bumped up on the side of the car. I called my mom, who drove right over, took care of the information exchange with the other driver, notified the insurance, paid the extra insurance fees and also paid for the car repair. Was I thankful to my mom? Of course not: I took it as my due. Did I stop having car accidents? Of course not. At least, not until I was grown and gone, and had to face the consequences on my own.

Like the Drill Sergeant, Helicopter parents are acting out of love. But the problem is, the real world doesn't run on the "I'll fix it for you" principle. Helicopter parents fail to prepare their kids to meet the normal problems and challenges that arise in life. Significant learning opportunities (SLO’s) are stolen from them...and all in the name of love.

The message a Helicopter kid ends up with is: "I am easily broken and can’t make it without help. When things get too hard, it means I need someone to step in and give me even more help.”